at least i can come back with a laugh

FACTS :

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Aussies, British or Americans.
Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Aussies, British or Americans.
Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Aussies, British or Americans.
Italians drink large amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Aussies, British or Americans.
Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Aussies, British or Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Now isn't this a valid inference? :) Welcome back pragmatics :)

Mai